You have my pity.

Until someone offers me evidence to the contrary, it is my assertion that Alepnrose Egg Nog is the single best thing that can be seized and consumed.  Those of you that don't live in the Portland area and therefore don't have access will have to make do with my pity.

Theory for your consideration

Postulate: Pepperoni hot pockets are among mankind's greatest culinary achievements.

Evidence: PEPPERONI HOT POCKETS.

Result: Proven. Additionally, I'm hungry.